Dear Mama: Some Decisions Stay With You

Some choices in motherhood linger long after they’re made.

They don’t always have clear answers — just a quiet, lifelong wondering.

This is Dr. Saroja Bhaskar’s story — a reflection from 37 years ago,

still etched in her heart.

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I am a retired law college principal and a mother of two boys —

both married, well-settled, and raising families of their own.

What I’m about to share is something that happened 37 years ago.

It’s a moment that confused me, challenged me, and still stays with me.

At the time, I was a young mother of two —

a three-year-old by my side, a newborn in my arms.

I was also a practicing lawyer, working alongside my father in Kollam.

That’s when I received an offer:

to join as a junior lecturer at a law college in Calicut.

It was an exciting opportunity —

but the decision wasn’t easy.

Many advised me against it.

“How can you leave your breastfeeding baby behind?”

“Think of your family.”

But my father stood by me firmly.

“Go,” he said.

“We’ll manage whatever comes.”

With my heart full of hope and my fingers crossed,

I took the train to Calicut and joined the college.

But that very night, I felt a lump in my breast —

hard as a stone, with unbearable pain.

Every touch was agony.

I rushed back home on the next train.

The doctor, while treating me, scolded me:

“You should never have left without consulting.

This could have led to an abscess.”

She squeezed the blocked milk from my breast —

an experience no mother forgets.

She advised me to take the baby with me.

But how could I?

I had no accommodation in Calicut.

It was a moment of helplessness,

and I questioned everything:

Was I making the right decision?

Should I have stayed home?

Parenting is a 24/7 commitment.

It’s exhausting.

It’s overwhelming.

But it’s also the most beautiful, blissful bond.

You won’t experience the want and the need at the same time.

There are always sacrifices.

Looking back now, I still feel a pang of doubt.

But I also feel a sense of quiet pride.

Continuing my work brought me happiness.

It gave my family a better life,

and my children received a good education and a stable future.

This decision — to step forward, even when it was hard —

was the moment that changed my life.

It’s been a rollercoaster,

filled with growth, challenges, and grace.

To all the mothers reading this:

May you be blessed.

May you hold on, love deeply, and cherish each moment —

even when the ride feels wild.

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There is no single way to be a mother.

Some stay. Some go. Some do both.

Whatever choice you make,

if it’s made with love,

it is enough.

This is Dr. Saroja Bhaskar’s story.

A reminder that the questions may stay,

but so does the love.

If you have a story to share,

in your own words or as a voice note,

this space is here for you.

Share Your Story Here