Dear Mama: You Are Doing It Right
- May 22, 2025
- 2 min read
Not all beginnings are smooth.
Some start with separation, doubt, and questions that echo for weeks.
This is Aparna’s story — a mother’s journey through early NICU separation, feeding struggles, and a moment of grace that changed everything.
A reminder that sometimes, healing begins with a few honest words and a whole lot of love.
When my daughter was born, she had jaundice due to a blood group mismatch.
Right after delivery, she was taken to the NICU.
My husband and I had brief moments with her, but I couldn’t feel her in my arms.
For nine months, she had been with me.
I was counting the days to finally hold her — to feel her warmth.
And suddenly, she was gone.
The next ten days after delivery took a heavy toll on me — physically and mentally.
I felt helpless.
Then came the next twist.
Back home, she wasn’t latching.
She wasn’t feeding.
For jaundice, feeding is crucial. But since she had formula in the NICU and my milk hadn’t come in yet, she had trouble adjusting.
As a first-time mother, I didn’t even know how to hold her properly.
Despite lactation classes, help from others, every attempt…
we still couldn’t get it right.
The questions started swirling in my mind:
Why can’t I do this?
Am I the problem?
Why isn’t she taking my milk?
It crushed me.
The anxiety, the self-blame, the guilt.
Then, during a regular hospital visit, a nurse said something that struck deep:
“She is your daughter. And you are her mother.
You can’t hurt your baby.
Whatever you do — is right.”
Those words hit hard.
They reminded me that this bond was ours.
Just between me and my daughter.
I began pumping and storing milk.
And slowly, I let go of the guilt.
After almost two months, she started latching.
On her own.
In her time.
To every mother out there —
the ones in the NICU,
the ones questioning their every move,
the ones still figuring it out:
You are doing it right.
Whatever you do with love, with care, with presence —
it is enough.
You brought them into this world.
You can handle them.
And only you can love them like you do.
If you have a story like this — raw, real, or still unfolding —
you can share it too.
In writing or even as a voice note.
This space is here for you.
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