Selfie-obsessed

I cannot remember the last time that I have posted a selfie without a care in the world.

I was hooked on to the selfie culture before the deep filter era. I was all about clicking pictures of myself and others while pouting and smiling at my reflection in the phone screen. I enjoyed and reveled in it regardless of whether I posted it online or not.

Maybe I started viewing it as narcissistic or as time passed, my insecurities were more highlighted, especially when taking pictures without makeup or filter. And even if I did click a picture, I got hesitant when it came to sharing it online. Thoughts revolved around inauthenticity if a filter was used and perfectionism if a minor defect was detected by my harsh inner critic. Open pores, acne, brightness and frizzy hair were a few of the factors that I nitpicked over. Filters didn’t feel genuine and didn’t show the real me.

The number of selfies taken declined over the years along with my confidence. I do not feel pretty enough, even though deep down I know that there is nothing wrong with me and it's just my insecurities playing up.

But because of that, instead of commemorating each day and occasion with a selfie, I enjoyed being in the moment. My selfie rate came down from 20-30 pictures to 1-2 pictures.

Do I still enjoy selfies? Yes I do. I post the occasional selfie, whenever I can overcome my insecurities or when I get that "perfect click" or when I sneak in a filtered photo but I admit it is rare now.

Maybe selfies are a form of validation for me, especially when things are a little down in the dumps. Sometimes a good selfie turns around a bad day to an extent. Sometimes it simply feels good to click a picture with someone you like or when I feel happy with someone.

Call it narcissistic or self-obsessed, but if it helps you in some way, why not?